Love under house arrest

Love under house arrest
-1-
I beg your pardon, but I must leave...
The blood that I thought would never become water...
Has become water...
And the sky, whose blue glass I thought
Was unbreakable... Has broken...
And the sun...
Which I used to hang like a Spanish earring
In your ears...
fell from me onto the ground... and shattered...
And the words...
with which I used to cover you when you slept...
flew away like frightened birds...
leaving you naked...
-2-
I beg your pardon for leaving... this airy demand
between your breasts...
I no longer have the desire to discuss with you...
Or to make love to you...
I am no longer enthusiastic about attacking anything...
Or defending anything...
We have fallen into a circular time...
Where the distance between my hands and your waist...
Does not change...
And between my nose and the pores of your skin...
Does not change...
And between the cell of your thighs...
And my execution ground...
Does not change...
-3-
I ask your permission...
To take a long... long... leave...
For I am tired...
Of the state of longing... And lovelessness... In which I find myself...
And I am tired of this furnished flat...
My emotions have become as square as its walls...
My desires as rectangular as its corridors...
My ambitions as low as its ceiling...
-5-
I want to protest against your fascist love
And shoot...
At your palace...
Your guards...
And your bourgeois horse-drawn carriage...
I want to protest against your eternal power...
And against the constitution
That you named yourself...
Queen... for life...
I want to shoot...
At your oil painting...
Hanging in the throne room...
And at all the poets,
And nobles,
And ambassadors...
who pay tribute to your eyes
and water your breasts
with birds' milk.
-6-
I want to shoot
at your theatrical clothes
and at the tools you use for diagnosis,
at the green and lilac
On the blue... and the orange...
On the dozens of vials in which you collected my blood samples...
On the forest of rings and bracelets...
That you used to blackmail me...
On the wide leather belts...
Made of crocodile skin...
That you used to whip me...
On the hairpins...
And nail files...
And metal chains...
That you resorted to...
To extract my confessions...
-7-
I want to shoot...
At your voice sneaking through the telephone wires
I am no longer interested in collecting birds...
I want to shoot...
the letters of your name...
I am no longer interested...
in collecting rare stones...
I want to shoot...
all the poems... I wrote for you...
and all the hysterical dedications...
that came out of me...
in moments of intense love...
or...
in moments of intense stupidity...
-8-
I want to go to the sea...
where the beaches are open like a blue book
My mouth... has become like a mushroom forest...
from lack of sun...
and my emotions have become like ancient manuscripts...
From lack of visitors...
And lack of reading...
-9-
I want...
To break the chalk circle...
And end this daily journey...
Between your upper lip... And your lower lip
Between your right breast... And your left breast...
Between your body, cold as copper cities...
And my madness...
-10-
I want to protest something...
To collide with something...
To kill myself for something...
I have nothing left to do...
Except play cards with my boredom.
He loses... and I lose...
He gets bored... and I get bored.
He tells me you were his lover...
and I tell him you were my lover.
He gives me his gun to kill myself...
and I show him your old letters...
so he kills himself...
and kills me...
-11-
I ask your permission to kill you...
I know that all the clouds in the sky...
Will shed tears for you
And all the doves will spread their white feathers... Under your head
And all the anemones...
Will sprout from the fields of your body...
But despite this...
I remain determined to kill you...
Not for my sake alone...
But for the sake of all the prisoners... and the wounded... and those disfigured by love...
And for the sake of all those whom I have sentenced to hard labour...
And forced them...
To carry sand with teaspoons...
From your right breast... to your left breast...
From your left breast... to your right breast..................................................

................................. ..............
And they are still working...
And they are still working...
And... they... are... still... working...
They... are... still... working...