I feel like I can’t grasp the concept of loving my partner how they want to be…

I feel like I can’t grasp the concept of loving my partner how they want to be loved. I feel like every time I try I just end up messing things up worse and I love my partner with all my being they saved me from the worst time in my life, but I feel like I’m always so stressed out and feeling awful about myself so often that it’s hard for me to take time sometimes to recognize that they need to be heard too and they need to feel the same love I do, I try I really do and they assure me it’s okay