Her eyes looked wider
when they were brown
My dad looked younger
when he smiled
Grin of the crocodile hunter
never afraid to get stung
I hung his potions
that were deemed 'medicinal'
Above where i plastered
my preteen princess tiaras
onto an uneven shelf
Wasnt worried that
theyd fall in an earthquake
Always counted them on a list of things
I knew to be unbreakable
Like his love
A bouncy ball that never hopped back
but never stopped rolling around
on the bathroom tiles
My mother
who stopped playing games
before i could walk
Knowing by the time id learn to run
I could carry her away
Me the trains engine
Her the conductor
And him the coal
thrown into the firey ember
to fuel my fate with
A train can only run on the tracks its given
But i refuse to let this be
the final destination
Ill turn back into foam and mattress
and let my mother rest
as long as she needs
My springs popping out of the seams
No back rest or spleen to cling to
When im left empty and unmade
But my patience will one day
make up for the things i said
before he was more
ash than bone
More flesh than falter
Because my benefit of the doubt
is that my eyes stay the same color
After the sceneries changed
And my mother doesnt think
its made her vision go from chocolate
to deep grey
Id rather keep her comfortable
so neither one of us
have to recognize
The difference
his absense makes
C