2:17 am and you still just lie in bed
What are you thinking while you lay there speechless?
Are you thinking of tomorrow?
How every day you wake is always the same!?
So, you’d rather sleep until the day is over
Until the moon is the only thing left in the sky
You flip and turn while you try to rest your eyes
Yet somehow, you’re not tired
That’s why you’re typing this
Your fears and your anxiety haunt your thoughts while you try to sleep
And you try to escape but you’re lost
Lost in a maze that you run circles round
You’ve been here so many times before, tears can’t even begin to form
You try desperately to feel something but you’re numb to everything
You’ve heard it all before
Every word they told you to try and ‘cheer you up’
You’ve heard it so many times that even when it echoes in your mind you couldn’t care less
Every word you tell yourself is just the demons talking
But you can’t see that can you?
You’re blinded by the words that once cut so deep
But now the wounds are scars and you doubt you’ll find what you’re looking for
But what are you looking for!?
Do you even know?
Every word you tell yourself is a lie
But you already know
But you turn up the volume when you should be turning it down
You want to feel something
But you feel nothing
So, what does it take?
What does it take to fully break?
To lose the last of the sanity you cling onto so desperately
What does it take?
To tip you over the edge
You’re so close to giving up
To losing all your hope
What is it you hold onto?
What is left to save you?
When will you admit to all your vulnerabilities?
You’re still hiding, aren’t you?
You can’t act like this forever!
Why are you always so dark?
Even when you smile and laugh
You’re still just dropping hints!
A clue no one else sees
Whenever you leave these hints, they are so painfully obvious!
But no one seems to know!
That the person everyone sees
Is not you
You’re not as strong as you seem
You’re not as funny as you claim
This poem will get so many protests
But do you ever believe?
You say you do but you’ve heard it all before!
You’ve said it all before!
So, what’s the point in trying?
When everything’s the same.
©name
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