I dont know why but i seem to be a fool for your affection. even when your words and action sure me the ugly truth, I yearn for just a glimpse of hope that this love can still survive.
you started kissing me before you leave, but why?
wasnt you the one who said it's only about the kids?
wasn't it you who hurt me physically and broke me emotionally.
stuck between completely broken and numb what else is there left to do?
as I think of all the men that would love to have me for more than the obvious reason of having a big butt and slim thick figure. it's like I'm hanging form a safest rope and you have the gun with your finger on the trigger.
should I cut the rope with the knife in my hand? or take the chance and see if you will bring this dreadful and miserable relationship?
yet when you touch me the warm and strength comfort me. and keeps me safe. in your arms I loved you in your face as you kiss my forehead. do you love me? or hate me?
I guess your affection got me trapped in this limbo of hate and love. like ying and yang my life is spinning out of control.
screaming in my head but no one will know. exhausting and no one seems to care. showing no weakness is what society requires.
shall I go on about the women u always seem to acquire? the just friends or customers that seem to admire the way you are.
however that is just a deep scar covering your flaws and I think I it's time to take off the mask you wear. so I can be set free form this uneasy feeling of being the fool to your affection.
©
J