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A good daughter

A good daughter
Once
I believed
I was the luckiest girl alive.

My family loved me so much
they never let the world
touch me.

I was never allowed
to walk outside alone.
Someone was always sent with me.

If I needed something,
they brought it home
so I would never have to step outside.

They called it
protection.

When I went to school,
my brother walked behind me.

Friends were never allowed.
“Girls don’t need too many people.”

When I asked about college,
they said,

“Why do you need that?
Stay home.
Learn the work of the house.”

Whenever I tried
to speak my mind,

they smiled and said,

“Save your opinions
for your husband’s home.”

If I left my hair open,
they asked,

“Who are you trying
to show yourself to?”

When my brother made mistakes,
they laughed—

“He’s a boy.”

But when I simply
breathed too freely,

they reminded me,

“Girls from good families
don’t behave like that.”

Sometimes
I wanted to ask—

Is my brother
not from a good family too?

They kept me
like a precious treasure
locked inside a vault.

Hidden.
Guarded.
Untouched.

But one day
that same treasure
was handed away

to a man
who didn’t even know
my favorite color.

And tonight
when I lie
in the bed of a stranger,

I wonder—

where did all those rules go
about protecting
a “good daughter”?

Maybe
without realizing it,

they taught me
the most important lesson
of all—

how to die slowly
before I ever
learned how to live.

— Jia
#Pain#aboutlife#family#darkness#me