V

A HANDY MAN I AIN'T

I may be lot's of things
but a handy man I ain't.
I can't change out a toilet
and damn sure hate to paint. 
I can't fix the lawn mower 
when the mower doesn't start.
and every time I've tried 
I end up with extra parts. 
I don't know how to dry wall
and don't really care to learn.
and if I need to unscrew a  nut or bolt, I can't remember which way to turn. 
and reading  tape measure
is a skill that I have yet to master.
I think it'd be easier to learn Chinese and I could probably learn it  faster. 
electricity is a mystery 
that I never will unlock.
that's why, when I change out a switch,I'm almost always shocked. 
when it comes to hangin pictures, well let me tell you bud
after driving 14 holes in the wall I finally hit a stud. 
I work and fuss and fuss and work.for less than perfection I will not settle.
but when I step back to admire my work it is always at least 2 inches out of level.  
now  I'm not completely hopeless there's a few things I can do.
I can change a light bulb
if I can get the old light bulb to unscrew. 
And if your engine oil needs  checking.well mister I'm your guy.
but if the oils low you're on your own cause I don't  know  what kind of oil to buy. 
there's a number of things that I might be but a handy man ain't one.
so if you got some handy man work to do you'd be best to hire it done. 
©verseless