A nice guy vs. A nice person is a complete difference and you men are going to learn all about it. My dating coach explained this to me, and it was confusing at first. When she had broken it down to me, I had got the concept of it. When people say nice guy, they would say, "oh he's just a nice guy or this is a nice girl."
I am going to explain to you all about what girls do not like, and the reason why I say girls, is that a lot this situation is what girls do. If a woman is in a place where she is motivated, that has a good mind, and she is by herself. Also, that woman is independent, self-aware, and self-confident. She is not going to fit in this category at all. In the sense, she is not looking for a boy, she is looking for a man that is an alpha male.
Bad boys are what girls like these days. I have a lot of girls in my family that like bad boys. They do not like a nice guy. A few years ago, I asked one of my cousins why did she prefer bad boys over nice guys? Her response was, "I don't like a man being nice, I like a man that looks mean and careless."
Most women today like careless men. If you were born and raised in a ruff environment known as the "hood" or "projects" this is what African Americans call even in the ruff Latino communities as well. Those girls in those bad environments prefer bad boys over nice guys because that was how a lot of girls were used to growing up and still are.
A girl likes bad boys, not bad men because if you are a bad man, you will not fit into the category of what these girls love and want that does not require you to be a nice guy. With the nice guy situation, there are certain things that can come off way too strong. A nice person revolves around a kind-hearted person. A person with a good soul, and has good intentions. But when it comes down to a nice guy, and there is a female put right in front of that nice guy. It becomes a nice guy thing because you are doing things that are stepping out of your character. You are doing things that are bringing you down because you are supposed to be at the top of your game. That is what I used to do towards my boyfriend, I would always wear him down. I would want him to do a lot for me. He would take me out every week instead of just taking me out twice a month or even once a month. I was expecting him to do that for me all was time, but I found out that were not in his character to take a woman out that often. What I am informing you all men is that you do not have to do everything your woman tells you what to do. Just be yourself. You do not have to impress a woman. If you are doing things for a woman that is not in your character that you would not do for anyone else, do not do it. When you are doing those things, you are trying to get that female and now you are becoming a nice guy instead of a nice person. That will make a woman manipulate you.
When you are doing things that you would just do for a female that you would not do for the same sex if you are a straight man. That it is because you are doing it for the female most likely. Like opening the door for a female. You would do that for another person because you are a nice person. If you are in front of someone, you would hold that door back for them to grab it. That is you being a nice person. You can do that for a girl because that is what you would do for another person.
In 2018, my mother and my other relatives used to always badger me about why my boyfriend does not hold the doors for me or why does he always blow his car horn instead of being a real man and ring the doorbell? I am the type of female that likes to always be honest with myself and with others of what I like and what I do not like. I informed my mother that I did not have a problem with him blowing his horn. My boyfriend does not have to ring the doorbell if he does not want to. As long as he let me know he is on his way to pick me up. My mother and my older relatives are baby boomers. That is what males used to do back in the 1900s. A lot of men today, do not hold doors for women or ring the doorbell. The men either call that woman on the phone, blow his car horn, or text her to let her know that he is outside waiting on her. My mother would say that is not being a gentleman. If a man does not want to be a gentleman, he does not have too. As long as he respects me, and lets me know that he is on his way to pick me up. My boyfriend is not a gentleman, but he is a nice person. This may sound a little confusing but it is a difference. He may hold the door for me sometimes, but not all the time. He does it when he feels like it, and I do not have a problem with that. That is letting me know that he is not treating me like a queen on a pedestal that makes me his priority. I do not want a man that put me first before his purpose. Put your passions and goals first before a woman. I always put God first before man, as I mentioned in that other informative poem I wrote yesterday called "Stop Simping." That is up to a man if he wants to do those things towards a woman. Beta males impress and act desperate towards women, alpha males do not.
When you are staring at a female all day long, and you can not take your eyes off of her. There is a difference when you are looking back at that woman a few times, or giving her that look and you look away. The reason why you gave her that look is that she is very attractive, or she is what you have been looking for. Your eyes are fixated on that female, but it will never be for another human being because you are not a nice guy, you are just a nice person. Keep remembering that if you are doing things because of that female. That means you are trying to ease her mind that will fill up her eagle. That is what you are doing when you are doing these things. Not every female, but most. That is what you are doing when you are staring at her all day. You are giving her verification, you are validating that female with too many compliments. If you are pleasing that female, doing things for her that you would not do for another human being. That is because you are a nice guy that is trying to impress her and that makes you put your all into the relationship. You are doing it because of that female, which makes you become a nice guy. If you can not figure out what you are doing because you are a nice guy or a nice person. Take this advice, would you do this for another human being? Would you do this because you are a nice person or are you doing it because of that female? Ask yourself those questions, and if the answer is because of that girl. Then you have your answer. And of course, it is not every single time, but it is the majority of the time. A nice person would do things of the kindness of their heart as far as opening up a door for a female. That is not something I would ever say to stop opening up a door for a female. But when you are giving a female too much attention, that makes her become spoiled by all the attention you are giving her.
Men that are apologizing to a woman too much, need to stop because that is letting that woman know that you are weak. It is okay to say "I'm sorry" sometimes, but not all the time. Stay on top of your ground. You know when you are actually wrong and when you are actually right. Do not impress a female. The nice guy thing you are doing is why you are not getting the girls you want to have for your future.
Girls keep going to bad boys, and it is never going to stop because that is the society that we are living in today. If you actually did something that was disrespectful to that woman, you are supposed to play that role as a grown man and apologize. Do not apologize if you did not text that woman all day. Do not feel bad because you can not text her 247 because you have a business to handle. That is where the insecurities come in within a female, and a man as well. That is why everyone should find a purpose in what they enjoy doing or keeping yourself busy. If a person is always busy working, creating artworks, writing books, writing poetry, or doing activities with your kids every day. Doing fun things every day or making money. Doing those things will not make you feel insecure about a man or a woman.
The men that are reading this. Do not feel bad because you are at work making money all day and not worrying about a girl. If she was a woman she would understand you are a real man and that is what you need to do as a man by handling your business and being on your purpose.
#relationship #nice #generous #kind
©ciara25
©ciara25
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