Oregon 2023
I'll never call this fiction OR non fiction because, if you're at all competent in reading you'll know where it came from…
A strange place I visited.
Myself and this lady I'd met, had decided to go to a park to goof off for awhile and have some fun, when all of a sudden out of nowhere, there was this huge spider, crawling about and looking at us, and it wasnt your average huge run of the mill looking spider no, this thing looked, as if it landed on top your head, that the ends of its legs could still wrap around your neck, and perhaps strangle you or something, and it also looked strange because it was bright blue, with black and white bands on the midsection and the leg tips, it was some breed of tarantula I believe, or it looked that way because of the ways it postured itself and, well it was a seriously hairy beast of a spider, but, me and the lady were just kind of playing our little handsy this and that game with each other, and this spider walks up and, at first it just looked curious, but then started getting very close to us, we each took turns trying to shoo the thing away, actually batting it away a few times each, but then as if it's just become comfortable with us, the huge and hairy blue spider walked around in three or four quick circles, turned to look back toward both of us, lifted its huge spider butt in the air and, well I thought it was going to spin a web but it took a dump, and a piss, right there in front of both of us, (for all we knew it was laying little spider eggs in my brain having actually dreamt the thing) and it wasnt afraid of us seeing the parts it was coming from either, the liquid came from two places, which looked almost like two fang puncture Mark's on the underside of its abdomen, and I wasnt getting close enough to see the place the other stuff was coming from, but it was all just too bizarre to not write down, I often wonder what would've happened in the dream had I not awoken and begun to write, and as I'm fairly sure, it was at least, some interpretation of some locals idealized self that we were seeing, well I got the hell out of there, because whenever theres a motha like that, theres sure to be a starving brood, and a male, and a group of others around.
©danjor
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