My enemy bloodlusted and crazed came at me. I did not want to, but it was him or me killed or be killed, so I stole his life, and as he faded away to whatever God is real, or maybe to the nothingness of the void; I do not know, but I witnessed his comrade shed tears of sorrow and hate for the life I just erased, and I realized for the first time be it right or wrong; good vs evil; you or me war us hell, and it makes murderers out of us all. And what a devastatingly crushing weight to bare on my soul, blackened and beaten it is, worn and torn it has become. Years have passed and still I battle myself. Still a war rages, my soul against my demons my greater jihad, and I'm uncertain what side will win, better men than me have lost this war away from war. Exhausting it is to fight these demons when I want is to rest, all I want is to know peace, the quiet of the void, the calm of nothingness, but daily I awake and choose violence. I choose war. I choose to fight my demons, bloody and battered I have become, because as much as I want to know death, and as much as I want to embrace the nothingness of eternity I can not bring myself to lose, because I cannot bare the thought of others shedding sorrowful, hateful tears for me, because in my heart of hearts I am a warrior m, and warriors don't quit, so until my demons tear me limb from limb until the light leaves my eyes until they steal me away I will fight this battle, this war, I will show my demons the demon they have created. I will show these monsters who wage war on my soul who I am and why I survived my country's war, and why I will survive my war...
©® Tanmoy
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