A crashing and deep sensation of hopelessness consumes my hardened face.
The lack of love you show nowadays is somewhat hard to place.
I do not know what I have done to warrant such neglect.
My life now seems to barely float with your loves memory I can't forget.
We used to hold one another tightly in the confines of our sheets.
Now it seems that I can't contend, with Facebook who can beat?
Buried in your phone as if it were apart of your very soul.
My sharing custody of you with your phone is such a costly toll.
You've let this happen, became this way, you done this all yourself.
It just so happens that I won't sit by with my love for you on that shelf.
I have too much to offer to simply settle for second place.
I'm not saying you're not worth my effort, though my attempts I seem to waste.
Fighting this infernal battle uphill in the snow and pouring rain.
Leaves me feeling broken down, misplaced in a oozing, consuming pain.
My life appears to be for not, at least inside your mind.
What happened to the love we shared that is now so hard to find?
Why is it that you cast me aside and add new friends whom you used to date.
Why is it only photos of just you are the ones these "friends" all rate.
If they were truly friends and not some demons sneaking in.
Then I am almost certain they would "like" OUR loving grin.
But alas they sure don't see it, the thing we used to be.
Of course you can't "post" all the love we HAD between you and me.
Because that love no longer lingers, not even an ounce remains.
I can not go on in living with this lie that you've made I feel restrained.
Like a prisoner in my own home, the sheets and walls my bars.
The only time we hardly talk is while we drive a distance in our car.
It seems to me the life we built you've just put it up for sale.
And the memories we made together are ones only I regal.
I can feel it slipping slowly, ever more slowly far away.
And you ask me "why do you work so much" perhaps I need a getaway?
Maybe I'm just tired of fighting this battle you've thrown me in alone.
This battle for the love of my life that seems to have destroyed my home.
I feel only solace when our daughter I embrace so tight.
The same way I once held you close on the cold and windy nights.
Now you only show a facade when your loved ones are around.
But I tell you I'm so close to done and skipping town.
How can I though just leave you, more our daughter is who I mean.
And leave her with the neglect you have, the neglect you've shown towards me.
No, I'll simply stomach it as I did those times I spent in war.
Though I must confess, most bitterly, it's not what I had thought in store.
I suppose I'll just take second place to the lack of love you show.
And not leave this town as quickly as the arrow leaves the bow.
Yes I imagine I'll be lonely, I expect nothing to change.
You are the beauty from the tale and I am the beast, deranged.
©jarnmarr
J