If i got the opportunity to tell you how your decision would effect you in the next five years. I would start off and say, Be honest to yourself and ask for help. At nineteen everything will change, As the fights continued and the addition started to hold you down, going back to your mothers home would lead you into turmoil. Your emotions, fears, and negative outlets would lead them to become a reality. The two lives you loved so much would get stripped from your grip, institution and homelessness would be the new normal till the courts will force you into rehabs and shelters. Eventually your rights to the children would be terminated, And you will struggle with mental illness, trust, love, Discipline. That will be the down side, but the upside is you will learn strength you never knew you had. You will gain courage along the way, You will become resilient in the battles you face. You will grow and learn subjects that you never thought you needed to know. You will learn what responsibility is, and how to be responsible. You will meet amazing people with inspiring storys that will help you be motivated. You will become clean and sober with resources to new coping mechanism, triggers, and outlets. You will finally have your own home, vehicle, and job. You will experience new ways to live without the Abusive Ex boyfriend who kept you back so many years. You will become educated towards yourself, life, children, addiction, emotions, and decision making. You will learn what hard work is and how to budget, save, and prioritize. Acceptance will come eventually and you will learn to forgive yourself and others. You will eventually cherish the moments your bless to spend with your children and have a relationship with them. You will reconnect with relatives and disconnect with friends throughtout moment of your life, people will come and go in season of your journey, and it will cause pain but what is gain without pain. You will make mistakes and will learn from them. You will learn to have faith in god, practicing prayer and reading the word. I want you to know that you are me, i love you, and i wish i could tell you Stephanie that just because you have done something and failed before please dont give up, You may have gone through some hard times and made some bad decisions but you will grow and learn and discover in the process. Open up and let the pain out, Express the feeling, thoughts, in a proactive way. Work towards healing the wounds, forgiving others and yourself, Make amens and dont forget who you are as you learn to love again. People aren't perfect, and you will never be perfect, Just remember always god made you who you are, not the person who you think you are, or the person you or others want you to be. Be true to yourself and climb out of the shell, change the frown upside down and keep going forward. The past has occured and gone away, The present is now and you can only live in this moment so embrace it. The future is yet to come and you wont know the outcome till it happens, only god controls the outcome of your life. Last but not least be patient, assertive with others, hold your boundary firm, Practice self-control, self-discipline, Self-love, Trust, believe, and have faith in god first, and the children will eventually grow to trust, love, know who there mother is and will want a relationship with you be patient and give it time, you will learn to express, protect, support, and advise them one day in the future.
by stephanie marie.
©annmaire1
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