heart starts racing again.
fingers are twitching within.
this is how it feels when the panic sets in.
eyes are bloodshot , eyelids are swollen..
I'm starting to hate this dead body that I seem to be controlling.
screaming and pleading for someone to help me ..but then take it all back, because I feel guilty.
the razor is in the bathroom , I'm holding it again.
shacking and nervous but happy because then I'll be able to feel again...
but looking at my old scars makes me start thinking...maybe just one slice or maybe a pinch , I need to feel something I hate this itch.
praying to something whatever it may be , to please please take this pain from me.
i cannot speak, I cannot trust , waking up everyday seems to becoming to much.
so here I am again.
calm for the moment.
writing this poem to spill out my hurt, not that it matters , it holds no worth.
so , here I am again.
here alive another day, I swear I hate you universe...just take it all away.
©scorpio
S