Is it okay to be this selfish when loving you?
Finding a balance that helps, too,
When all I want is enough confidence to be a person.
Though it is hard to love myself,
I seem to keep going backwards.
When you saw me, did you think?
Did you wonder, did you ask your shrink?
Was it an option, did you have a choice?
Am I what you dream about?
Do you ever crave my voice?
I can't help but criticize my choices of love to you,
And if I was better...
Am I what you'd want to come home to?
I know I'm not the best choice, decision, option.
Was I at least your first, or second
cuz that matters?
In the end I want to make up,
For the lost time, when I lost my mind.
Thinking that you were mine and I was yours,
And though you are just a random person,
I thought I loved you with the touch of our eyes.
They said my imagination has gone wild,
It's become too real though I look senile,
Envisioning a world where I could be a person,
Even if I do continue to rot here on this cushion,
Led by the hand, I am unable to stand
I must take my candy, it's scheduled once a day.
I know it is bitter but it makes me feel okay,
My mind goes silent and I feel you slip away...
and then I find myself hating
everything
again...
©majesty1
M