I never used to be jealous.
Never had the need to be.
But now I find myself drowning
in an ocean of jealousy.
There are women who are younger than me.
Prettier. More fit.
What once was my aspirations of success
now shambles upon which I sit.
My hair is dull and dying.
My skin a desert of time.
My eyes that dispelled elegance
are now dull orbs of mine.
I have wrinkles where I once was smooth.
My weight is hard to control.
I fell asleep a youthful girl
and woke up a fragile soul.
I once was told "wait to have kids"
Now they say "have them soon."
If I don't marry and settle down
I'll be gray by the new moon.
What once was considered "jailbait"
is now a thought to consider.
Because they have grown into women
as I continue to wither.
I no longer have an excuse to spit
about not having a house or career.
Once I thought I had the time
but now time is what I fear.
My body has been changing.
Puberty for adults.
Thoughts of dating are distant
and lonlieness is the result.
Beggars can't be choosers.
I have to take what I can get.
I used to count the suitors
but now I'm ready to quit.
Love is no longer exciting.
It terrifies my heart.
It's a husband or nothing
Love no longer plays a part.
I walk the earth in hatred
for those younger than me.
When did my time get shortened?
When did I stop to be?
I have no house, no money.
No children to fill my home.
And if I don't have children soon
a barren world I'll roam.
My biological clock is ticking.
God, please make it stop.
I used to yearn for aging
but now I dread the clock.
My body's stiff and aching.
Can't do the things I want.
No time, no inspiration
my youthful dreams a taunt.
Please stop this dreadful aging.
I can't bare to grow old.
But it seems age has snuck up on me
and made me brittle and cold.
©hollywood.
H