worrying obsessively
negative thoughts come to play.
voices mock you.
you're caught up in a daze.
you jump at your shadow.
they're out to get you my mind often say.
Paranoia.
guilt.
your life has always been this way.
doctors have no words for you.
just pills shots and diagnosis always.
insomnia.
traumatic trust issues.
a month full of sleepless nights.
sadness obsessively.
you're possessive on demand.
you're hard to love.
anger outbursts turned into overkill.
thoughts of you can't tell what's real.
you're sadistic at times.
you laugh hysterically at the madness.
thinking chaos is your best friend yet I laugh at it too.
you live for the shit show every day and no one but you knows.
that you wrestle with demons every night.
on the verge of losing control.
you say you're antisocial but no one really knows.
you push people away afraid that they will get too close.
you used to have a job.
a support system.
and you even got your own home.
you got someone to confide in.
yet you wish they were here and you're not all alone.
they call you on the phone just to give you a sense of love.
yet you say fuck religion is there really God above?
yet your dad side of family are just religious assholes they called you the devil when you are crumbling and silently losing control.
wanting you to snap.
wanting you not to be composed.
wanting to be lock away and never free to be yourself they want you to act like you don't have a soul.
©darkdeity
D