How can I describe the feeling of believing that I have no one by my side when in fact I do? it's strange. I can be isolated within four walls or outside blending with the public n yet it's the same suffocating feeling and a sense tht I don't belong
I've been singing this song,this song I've had to put on pause rewrite the lyrics to change the tempo of...and it feels like I sing it to entertain and soothe the hearts of those who love me,just to put their minds at ease and make them think tht I'm oky.
Deep down I feel so alone,lost and broken where it feels like my hope doesn't want to grow. There's this struggle to do basic things and a weight on my chest tht doesn't want to leave. I'm damaging myself in the process, pushing ppl away, thinking tht they're better off without me and eventually I'll just rot away.
What can I say? I cry, I scream ,I try and if feels like my energy doesn't want to recharge,so I'm stuck feeling numb and distant. This isn't a story where I'll be saved,I'm the main protagonist, therefore the decisions,the events and twist rely on me. As I'm writing this with a pen on my hand I feel a certain power tht I can't seem to grasp on my own.
Ohh, how I wish I can make the problems,the stress and the worries disappear. Remove all my demons and delete all my fears. There's some pain everytime I listened to a sad song,there's some anger every time I see the nothing tht I am,there's some emptiness tht I can't seem to fill, a void tht doesn't want to be covered. Alone..Alone..Alone
It's even worse bcoz there's no self love,just me despising myself and everything I do. So I wallow in this sorrow,with little hope of a better tomorrow.
©® Tanmoy
©lostlove00
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