I lost my smile Again today it's somewhere back where my self esteem fell, I wish I can tell My smile how much My cheek bones miss it how my tonsils be ready to show..
my smile light up the room and covered pain & trauma I lost My smile again I have to retrack my steps see if it fell the time my smile turned to a frown at the sight of mis trust or the time of disappointment,
my smile had to get lost when forgiveness went out the window or the time I had to loose my smile when all my past trauma found its way back I lost my best feature today I'm afraid this time there's no come back my dimples are covered ,pain took over and pushed my smile away you left me again a long with my strength to fight, that smile was everything to me i carelessly let it go, I gifted someone else with you they scared you away..
(I lost you) I hope you find a new home with the seeds I carried , I hope your new home doesn't hide you, or have you take on more then you can hold I hope they show you off with no pain behind you my eyes miss you without you everyone can see my tears aren't allergies, my laugh isnt real and My integrity had expired my ego is a joke! I forgot you somewhere
I hope you find your way back, abandonment has found its home time ago. (I miss my smile ) frown took over found themselves comfortable replaced you without notice.
Or did you hide? did I overwhelm you with my naiveness did you get tired of being first to witness the betrayal, hurt and pain were you done breaking the news to me that I was being placed in positions I didn't sign up for, did you hide from the uninvited abuse
I lost my smile and hope you find a environment that brings you peace I neglected you I lost you somewhere on the way to courage. you've held me down for years, closing out what's going on behind my teeth covering the black blood pumping My heart
I lost you on my way to face my fears my eyes witnessed neglect but you took place painting me to be strong healing wounds that was left unseen. we gravitated to pain , neglect and disappointment from smiles that hide two faces we've kissed lips with trauma and pain I lost myself today ..
©carlee
C