Amie and I,
Usually don't see eye to eye,
We try to talk it out,
But instead I tend to shout,
Everyone else says,
"It's just her personality instead,
She comes off very strong and stern but trust me she is very caring we know it's hard to believe,"
I just don't want to fight with her anymore,
I want her to know I care too much about her to let her go at Court,
She may have come off as mean,
But I realize that she is somebody I need,
Now that I have made that confession,
I think Amie and I need,
A one on one heart to heart session,
This whole time I've been broken but if it weren't for little Ms. Amie I wouldn't be opening up this way,
I now see new opportunities,
Hopefully after I leave treatment I can succeed at finding New positive adventures,
Such as going to N/A meetings and attending C.A. during the day,
Make new friends and make sure to keep the druggie friends far away,
I want to see Amie proud of me,
Not disappointed in me,
As disappointment hurts,
Just like being judged for the way you look,
I want her to look at me and say,
When I first became her guardian,
Things were very rocky,
But now she's excelling,
And I'm proud to be apart of that,
Amie and I,
You see,
Are starting to see eye to eye,
I care about her a lot,
And I don't want to lose her,
And I'm afraid if I don't change,
She's going to give up on me,
And let me go,
I'm begging you Amie,
I'm trying can't you see?,
I only took one hit last night,
To cut the urges,
But that's all I smoked,
So technically I'm still clean,
Because one hit is not enough,
To do anything to me,
I don't even think it will show up in my system,
But I don't plan on smoking it all the time,
Such as buying a pipe,
And letting people take advantage of me,
Just in order for me to find my next feel,
I know Kara, Beth and I discussed,
That there's a 99% chance,
That I'm probably going to use,
Up until the day I go to treatment,
But I'm hoping that,
If I only I take one or two hits,
To kill the urges,
Then I can get by,
Just maybe,
I can get by,
That way,
But who's to say,
that's not what I really want to do,
But that one hit,
Helped me not crave any more of the dope,
So Amie please don't be mad at me,
I wish you could see that this addiction is hurting my heart,
Because I see how it's hurting Kara, Beth and you,
I went 5 days without using even one hit,
But would you rather me,
Take one hit,
Or take my money and spend like $80-$120,
Or spend more than that as you've all witnessed?,
I care deeply about all three of you lovely ladies,
I wish I never picked up this addiction,
As it's a battle to be in recovery,
I've never fought a battle of my own this hard,
This has to be my worst nightmare,
Amie I'm pleading you to look at me with open eye's,
Please don't see me as this young druggy,
Who's nothing but trouble?,
Because I'm honestly,
A good person,
With good intents,
And a heart of gold,
At Court,
I saw a softer side of you, Amie,
Which threw me off,
I never knew there was a soft Amie,
But now that I've seen her,
I know she's there and she cares,
Please show that Amie more often,
As she's the one who will help me come clean and realize,
That there are people out there that don't want to place me in placement,
Especially since I just got my own apartment,
Amie; you are very special to me,
Even though we fought a lot,
And I said a lot of hurtful things that I didn't mean and I'm sorry; can you ever forgive me?
As you like Jordan will always hold a very special place in my heart!
Like Winnie The Pooh always said
"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart and I'll stay there forever!" Well that's my favorite saying by Winnie The Pooh! And that's my saying to you!
So please don't give up on me,
I need you still Amie,
We are finally,
Seeing eye to eye,
And not fighting,
I like this us; don't you agree?
Well that's all I have from me to Amie,
Well about Amie and I,
Oh it's been quite a ride!
©kendallm61
K