Last night you said it, you said...
"maybe I just need time to learn about you and understand it"
and that’s when it clicked.
No-one has ever been willing to understand. They always said they did and then would get mad at me for being exactly who I always said I was.
Now here you are telling me "I'm in" that were in it and that were going to do this together, to let you see things for your self and take them as they come.
Those other people made me crazy, they made me loose my mind told me I wasn’t good enough, that I needed to get help and that I was the problem but that’s just it.
You don’t.
You tell me how strong I am and that I can do anything I want to. You are there for me supporting me in what ever I want to do I'm sorry I didn’t realize it till now.
Maybe the reason it didn’t work out with anyone else is because they were holding me back,
Back from seeing what I really can do and who I really can be.
Ive been lost for so long, listening to other peoples opinions of me
taking them in like that’s all that mattered, then you came along and told me things that I really didn’t want to hear but needed to hear and weather I want to admit it or not its making me a better person. Youre getting me back to who I was before,
Before I let all these toxic people in. The person who didn’t believe in anxiety and depression controlling her life, the person who always said "pills would never be an option",
the person who wanted to be an astronaut and really thought she could be. The person I was before those people told me I wasn’t good enough, or that I wouldn’t amount to anything,
that I wasn’t capable of being loved.
Youre changing the way I look at my self and you have no idea what a huge deal that is for me. Youre getting me back to the girl that I loved. The girl I never thought Id see again.
I can pin point exactly where my life flipped upside down, where everything around me turned grey and went negative.
Since that moment I haven't been able to dig my self out of that space but with you, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
You will be the moment In my life where I can say
"that was when things started looking up"
You are such a good thing for me and I know I have a lot of things that I need to work on
Please believe me when I say
I will do everything in my power to get back to that loving carefree girl that I once was.
F