I am a anti-social introvert
And I don't stay out late,
I have a hate for parties,
Or anything public,
Or anything that has anything to do with other people,
I don't have friends,
And yes, you guessed it,
I don't really get along with new people,
Being a bitch,
Is a flaw,
my fallback
And it's my defense,
Not my intention.
And coming off as werid
Or never being able to keep eye contact always gets attention from strangers,
Ever since the first grade I've always struggled to make friends or,
I guess keep them,
Every relationship or connection I've had with other kids just seems to end the same,
The popular girls says "Oh, you don't smoke?"
Stoner boy says, "Hit this vape?"
And the nicotine-addict says I'm a lame that I'm a snowflake,
Because no, I don't drink,
No, I don't smoke,
No, I don't have a boyfriend,
And no, I don't like parties,
Because huge crowds make me loose my breath,
Loud shitty music makes me sweat and interactions or confrontations are situations I avoid,
And drugs and alcohol bring back flashes or memories that seem void and I won't mention now,
But wow,
It's really messed up how you can have obvious boundaries,
That you'd expect people,
let only your best friends, to respect
Instead they overstep and make you do things that you don't wanna do,
You do them in fear of losing another friend,
But then in the end...
They leave you anyways,
And it's messed up how young girls and boys are brought up today,
Thinking that everyone has to have a perfect body to be beautiful,
I'm not skinny,
I'm not fat,
I'm healthy but I still look at my body and I hate it bad,
And I haven't wore anything other than long sleeve-T's or sweatshirts in a long time,
I don't wear anything but jeans and vans,
And in my mind I've made myself like the way I dress but I honestly don't,
But I refuse to stand out,
Or be the black sheep,
Willingly.
I write to cope and my big dream is to provide inspiration and hope in others that feel alone,
Because feeling lonely isn't fun
And I wouldn't wish it on anyone,
I've been that kid too many times and I've came close many times to taking my own life,
Because I'm an anti social introvert and people like me don't really make it in this world without getting hurt,
I've come to the conclusion that I'm not the main character in the fairytale or highschool romance,
And no, Prince charming didn't ask me to dance
But, him and his friends did laugh at the girl who sat by herself by the trash can in the ball room,
I was that girl,
But I had snacks so it was okay,
I really hope that one day the fairytail or romance has a sqeaul
Where no matter skin color, bodyshape, sexuality, religion, mental illness, everyone is treated equal,
Treated like people,
Yes, I have really bad social anxiety and I fear what Society will think of me but maybe other anti-social intorverts will find courage to do the same
©broadway
B