I was just a young child that was left in a world made of ice
I'm surrounded by nothing but roaches and mice
being left in the streets where the thugs aren't half as nice
I was given a new meaning had to leave behind my pure mind
I went to the game because there wasn't no one there for mine
God broke my chains once and I replaced them with gold watches
I was giving myself away as he just stands by and watches
I started feeling more alone after ever single broken promise
Another year just brings another friend to not be here so I became heartless
Look into my eyes and tell me you don't see the pain from the darkness
The doctor's told me that on my heart there's a black stain
I noticed that my heart had been repleaced with a heavy stone
I'm feeling the rope getting tighter around my neck
Hanging myself for one word that we all know as respect
I got 20/20 vision but even that isint worth my own outlook
If I wrote a book about my life it would be a tell like a naval
I'm surrounded by my demons but protected by the angles
Thrown into the concreat jungles with all of these savage type of animals
I put on a smile everyday but can you really look past that
I mean can you really see the frown that stands within that
Everybody wants to be a gangster but nobody wants to be the protecter
We get so caught up on beefing with each another we don't ever see the bigger picture
It's like the devils really trying to work his way into all of us
The goal was to try to make it out of the hood, not to die in it
We're all dying for a cause that really never ever had a reason to it
Why do we all got to act like we didint ever have a decision
Like our only choices in life were death or to be placed in prison
It's our own ignorance and that's why we're stuck in this situation
Yellow tape and it means that mans is history and there goes his reputation
I don't know if death is when we're really free but I hope the young is really listening
I've been hearing way to many pop pops lately
I'm loosing homie after homie and it's just driving me crazy
Kind of loosing myself so I pray and hope that's enough to help
I've been drinking a lot of monster to try to ruin my health
Any pain at all is a better feeling than feeling alone, empty and cold
A lot of my friends have come and gone by the plenty leaving a home feeling empty
No matter who for the next death I still ain't ever going to be ready
Even hearing one mother cry is just one to many
I didint want to deal with the pain so I smoked weed when it came
They say I'm wrong for the anger that I carried
well, you tell me how I should feel after watching my mama get buried
I'm just looking into my mirrors refection not liking who I'm facing
I'm disappointed that I didint even finish my lifes real mission
I drank a lot to kill my anger from my friends that were laid to the dirt
I was dancing with the devil for the who cares and why nots like who would it hurt
Started playing into his little game cause of my wicked ambitons from seeing a friend on a t-shirt
I was told I was made for more and that I should feel blessed
Then explain to me why, I let myself get lifeless like was I made for this?
I guess I got to have faith just to start a new beginning
I prayed but never could tell if God was really listening
I tried to pray and God said he didint talk to unfamiliar faces
that's when my mind started going to darker places
Not knowing that I was really listening to the devil and his words
Thinking it was God talking so I told him feed it to the birds
I prayed again before sleep and that's when a man walked up to me in my dreams
It seems like I was just lost and confused when he put his hand over me
He showed me that I was just tired of my heart being beaten and misuse
Praying everyday now just for forgiveness is what I choose
I've done some stuff that only God had witness me do and I'm ashamed
Sometimes I wonder if he's taking me serious about my change
When I was younger can you tell me why I was so vicious in the game
I was left lonley with my hands up but there was nobody around to hug me
I just want to be free so Lord can you please forgive a monster like me?
©602frost
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