Only who you want me to be is who you see.
Only a lie is what you hear when you spoke to me.
Its what we both had become.
Its how you had made me feel.
I have to hide the truth of everything that I am.
So you will remain unaware of the pain that's been so real.
A facade of stability and strength.
I must pretend and play the role.
Because to show you any different.
Is to hear you put me down.
Sinking me deeper into depressions hole.
You've said so many things emotionally painful.
A emotional scar still festering in my mind.
How did you you not know your verbal assaults.
The installation of dysfunction.
So hard to forget and leave behind.
Amounting to nothing just a failure is what you'll be.
Having never seen a child's tears.
Your every word building another mental block inside of me.
I have wanted so much to love you.
To know and feel what any other father and son might know.
But I have had to set my wishes and dreams aside.
And let everything that could be and just let it all go.
Its now been two years.
We haven't spoken.
A difficult decision I've had to make.
Because I have learned to love myself.
Or else deal with the what you cause me.
Nothing more than just further heart brakes......
©abiosis
A