there's a monster in our house
in your clothes,in your skin
every time I think it's gone
it rises up again.
on the outside it looks like you
but its actions betray.
appearances are deceiving;
you're somewhere far away.
I know you're fighting back to me
trying to find your way home.
but here, I face the monster
and I seem to fight alone.
I keep hoping I can find the words
or the actions or the phrase
to make the monster leave us alone
to snap you out of your haze.
but everything I do seems wrong;
all I manage is to give it fuel.
the monster grows more powerful,
and more distant, and more cruel.
each look from you feels like a glare,
each touch of your skin is cold.
every single word from you
drags up fights both new and old.
If I were stronger, I'd probably run;
but I'm all you have left so I'll stay.
sooner or later you'll find your path back
and chase the monster away.
in the meantime, I'll armor up;
try to pretend it doesn't hurt inside
when you say things I know you don't mean;
try to hide all the tears I've cried.
©tammylynn
T