If memories was jewels and gold then I would be a millionare.
If these blue tears were magical and granted a wish for every fallen one,then I would not have a care.
If pain was measured in degrees then I would be hot as hell.
If silent sobs were secrets then I would never speak again.
If cuts and blood were pages of a diary then I would never have enough ink.
If faking smiles and joy were marketing, Then there would be nothing I can't sell.
If my heart was turned into a ship then I would surely sink.
But none of this is possible and no matter how I try,
If's and maybe's cannot change the hurt I cover with a lie.
So instead of dwelling on what was or how much I did wrong,
I forgave myself and healed so well that I am now so strong.
Even when you ask me now:"How are you today?",
If or maybe I forgot and honestly I'll say,
Today is better than yesterday and tomorrow I'll be great,
The only if that I have left is this,
If tomorrow maybe does not come and this is where I fade,
I hope with everything I am the lonliness you left me with don't come knocking at your gate.
©lollasmith
L