I only ever felt like a body to them
⁃ Bodhi
No, body
Because her name was never found
Until he crushed her,
And drank the fine powder of her bones
It wasn’t enough when she said no
It was only enough,
when she became a sob story
For moms to read to their children at bed time
And wonder why we’re scared
Because “kill all men” is invasion
of your right to live
But when you assault and kill every part of me
You get less time than a drug dealer’s first charge
I didn’t ask to be this way
I didn’t pray that people would prey on me
Trauma started when I was a young chickadee
Unable to fly
The resistance of the world
holding down my wings
He told me not to tell anyone
... and I did as I was told
Young chickadees don’t know how to hold
Their own ground
So when the next boy came around,
And tried to squeeze the Mount Everests attached to me
I told no one because he thought it was funny
I just thought poor me couldn’t get a joke
Broken me couldn’t handle a joke
That’s why you’re broke-en
because you’re too damn serious all the time
I don’t know why I won’t let the burden be cut from my chest
I don’t know why I won’t let
The trauma be detached from my breasts
until they are small
And I can walk down the hall
Without all eyes on the flesh
I was cursed at birth
with a fat stomach
And tits that say “come here baby”
Back away please
for I am just learning to stand
Bambi on ice and I just need someone to hold my hand
but my trauma they don’t understand
so I’m breaking down
on the ice
The once crystallized ice is now cracking and breaking
Down
I fall in
but it’s kind of nice
to drown
Because he cannot touch me anymore
Because no man can lay a hand on this body
Claiming it like a new prize
You cannot drink my powdered bone
And even if you do
I won’t give a shit
Because I will have gone
because my voice would have given out
Because I am tired
of having to scream that I am not a body
I am human
I am Woman
I have a name!
and if you can’t tell her
Her name
You don’t deserve her
And if she says NO
then you can’t have her
She is not to be had
She is to be loved
©medusas_
M