The way he looks at me
And winks
My heart sinks a bit
And beats in a rhythm
That only lovers can dance
But sadly we ain't lovers
And I'm the only one with this feeling
And it's freaking me out
Each time we are together
The Selina song won't stop
Singing in my head
The one Nelson sings Selina ain't his
And she isn't he's
Sinks deep because he isn't mine either
But I can always be he's if only he asks
And when we are apart Otile Brown's song
Torments me to death
Loving someone who loves another
Is so painful
Seeing him happy and i ain't the reason why
Hurts
Each time I call him and he ignores
Deep down I know she's in his arms
In his arms where i belong
I keep longing for that chance
That chance where I'd love him
And he'd love me back
Without her
Without me constantly worrying
Worrying about him doing the same for her
I can't even begin to imagine him on her
Him kissing her
Caressing her
It breaks my heart each time he calls me bestfriend
For heavens sake I wanna be more than that
I wanna be the last person he sees before falling asleep
And first person he sees as soon as he wakes up
I wanna be your number one
Your only one
Like seriously what does she have that I don't
What did she do to deserve you
That I'm not doing
You calling me best friend breaks my heart
That I'm just a friend
And you can't see me in any other way
At times you make me feel that you feel the same
The same damn way I feel about you
Then you turn around and do things that proves me wrong
K listen each time I tell you that I love you
And you end up calling it lust
For Christ sake it tears me down
It breaks my heart apart
And opens up my wounds
Don't you see what you doing to me
The feeling of you going back to her
Each time you leave my side
Kills me
And it leaves me wondering
Do you make love to her the same
Do you kiss her the same
Do you hold her the same
Do you tease her the same
Damn do you do all these things the same
From the start you were clear
Didn't hide anything from me
Then before knowing it
Before I realized what was happening
I foolishly fell in love with you
Like it happened so fast
Everything happened so fast
I just wish I'd stop my heart from Loving you
Then then I'll be free from all this torture
If I had a time machine
I'd travel back to the very first day we met
And delete the moment our eyes met
For that very day brought me joy and pain
That very day gave me pleasure and pressure
And when you said you had a girl
I immediately went into a panick attack
I'm a jealous type
I can't share
Atleast not you
The man I love the most
Call me desperate
It's okay
If expressing my feelings is being
Desperate then I accept it fully
For my love for you is like a rose in the desert
With no water but still grows
With no one to care for it
But so beautiful it still grows
I'm not going to ask you to love me
Even though with all my heart that's what
I want
I'll try to forget
And live with this torment
For its like a tournament
And I'm on loosing side
Maybe one day my heart will stop
Beating for you
And that day will be my last
©mara_pain
Life is a series of pain
©mara_pain
M