Captive
There is a chain holding my left arm
and another gripping my right.
A chain around my left foot,
another around my right.
I am held captive,
and there is no way out.
I say to God, Lord, help me,
because I don’t know what else to say.
My heart cries so loudly
that I want to hide—
I don’t want to be found.
The chains are rusty,
slowly tearing into me.
People are watching,
but my pride is heavier than the metal.
I cannot admit
that I want to give up.
I say to God, I can’t anymore.
I am tired.
I just want to be free.
The chains surround me.
I can’t lift my head.
I am angry at myself
for not being stronger.
My heart weeps at night.
I lie awake, alone.
How can I be excited for what’s coming
when I am still chained?
People come and go.
I stay in the same place—
right in the middle,
head down,
hiding my tears.
I say to God, I am tired.
Help me. I need You.
But I remain here,
because the chains refuse to break.
If only I were free,
my heart might remember
what joy feels like.
S.Wagner.
S