at night.
I toss and turn.
losing myself to the kiss of you.
tasting the sweetness of what we were.
dying in what was forever.
in those moments of twilight.
I felt whole.
the girlfriend in my mind running rent free in my head.
and it never stops.
it lingers.
seductively drowning out the noise.
yet all I see is you when I fade into existence.
when it's not just a dream.
you're transparent.
you're concrete.
you're the heaven I see when I'm always in hell.
good or bad I would follow you.
I'd follow you till I'm mad.
till the point of existing didn't matter.
you were gravity.
yet I was the apple.
so shiny and red.
I was something to sink your teeth in.
no matter how bad I wanted to leave I just couldn't.
you were the part of me I couldn't let go.
yet I dream of you every night.
toying with the gods creation.
the angel that felt like a goddess.
yet love.
I couldn't grasp the majesty of it.
the things that pull me closer to you.
was it your eyes?
or the way you say my name?
or the way you make me wanna kiss you and your lips are to blame?
yet all theses things were a factor.
yet I laid here.
dreaming away about how you taste.
your porcelain skin turning feverish peach red as my lips claimed your skin.
again.
it was your neck.
the sounds of your moans.
my hand on your thigh.
the endless games of tonsils hockey.
why I love you?
theses were all the reasons why.
the reasons why I want to devour you on a daily basis.
yet your softness.
it killed me the most.
your blonde long hair.
your blue eyes deadlock on me.
it was enough to want to die.
yet you were the occasional feen.
yet I fantasize about devouring more than just your neck.
that starving look of blue I can never forget.
biting your lip when you side glanced just thinking of me.
yet you want me.
so I never want to leave.
the door slams.
just grab me leading me to the bed just so you can claim me.
again and again.
you make fuckin you easy.
but the agony of pulling away is too great.
restraint isn't what I'm used to.
but I want you anyway.
I want you bad.
and oh how it burns?
the thought that I'm yours.
then I wake up.
knowing that's all I want was to be yours.
©darkmocha
D