When I was 12 years old, I drank for the first time. That was the beginning of a life full of crime. It all started off with just a bottle. Not long after that I was going full throttle. I started off using with a neighborhood friend. Coke and heroin were around the bend. Not long after that I caught my first case. I was 14 years old caught with six bags of Bace. I discovered my mother was also a user. Together we became the perfect abuser. Smoking crack as mother and son. That's exactly how this nightmare begun. There was so many times that we tried to quit. We needed help but it was too much to admit. Depression set in, and all she did was cry. So many times I heard her ask God why. I watched her suffer full of pain. Taking medication trying as she tried to maintain. I wish I would have known what was to come. But from the cocaine I was beating and numb. The guilt and the pain, she could no longer bare. She swallowed a bottle of pills, leaving me here. That is a day I'll never forget. For the rest of my life I'll live with the pain and regret. Never again will I be the same. For years and years I felt I was to blame. There's some things you lose, you can never get back. So many enslaved to heroin and crack. I don't understand why some people make it but others do not. If it doesn't kill it takes all that you got.
©ryan
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