Alone in the crowd ya, just trapped in your mind.
Going back and forth over reasons to continue swallowing pride.
Trying to be better than what once was while forcing a smile.
Maybe trying to escape that new addiction of the lines of powder, like I cut back because I know i can do better.
But if nobody gives a shit then why should it matter?
Or the pills that seem to just pile higher, built up a tolerance now what it takes to escape is death by the hand full.
Maybe it's trauma the loss of a loved one, maybe its pain from never being aloud to be just a child.
Maybe the abuse physical and mental, during a collapse the drugs found a way to you.
Maybe it was heartbreak and just being done.
Maybe it's years of being unseen, heard or truly loved.
Doesn't matter now cause you gotta save you from yourself.
Knowing you had morals and never would try, never would be one to turn the shit off by just getting high.
Knowing you will never be the same as before and knowing no one cares and no one is their with love just as before.
Alone in a room you just think and think.
What is worth the time and patience and what is a waste?
What if I just take a little bit just to give myself a break?
What if the next line or pill is the biggest mistake?
What do you need, what will it take?
You loved who you are until everyone makes you feel like a mistake.
Maybe the only light you get is when you see your kid and it lights up his face?
Maybe its your pet or a sunset in your special place.
Young can bask in that now and never need the release.
But for some reason it just isn't enough, you deserve more than just bare minimum gifts.
The selfish isn't wrong but you know you can't talk, your automatically the bad guy and the piece of shit.
But in the end if you change up your selfishness and start spreading some peace.
Nothings reciprocated and people just lie to your face, nothing is said because nothing is felt.
Not a single ounce of anything is installed in your heart.
Then what's the point and how much patience is enough?
How much power of will to be better and rise above?
Fighting the urge to just go and get messed up, fighting the urge to not feel at all.
Alone in a room just sifting those thoughts.
Crowds around you swarm in and fade out.
The strongest have the shittiest luck, nobody wants them and eventually they give up.
They sit and they watch as everyone swarms in and fades out, often lending a hand and then getting left out.
Falling to addiction, falling with a hand held out.
Falling face first and breaking like a heart.
Losing face and a place to take part.
Sometimes the strongest ones when left to often alone in the dark, fall from their own grace and never climb back up.
Just climb, just climb back up.
They don't love you they don't care what you're about.
Just climb, just climb back up.
They don't care , they never gave back any love.
Just climb, just keep climbing back up.
The drugs. You don't need them, and they still don't show any fucks.
Just climb, just climb back up...
©twistedme
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