As I am here, count down my birthday. I am a reflection of my life. It took me half centuries to figure out what I wanted in life. I have wasted my time full of regard. Scare to be me. I was putting myself last. I was worried about what people thought. When I write, I always wonder if I have what it takes. To be the best part of me. Will people judge me for doing what I love? Or is there know something I don't know? I don't have all the answers, but when I do, I am sure. I know what I am doing. But I constantly second-guess myself. When my birthday got close to my dreams, it gave me a weird feeling. I can say I am getting excited. Because what I couldn't do before, now I am doing it. One story as time. Life has given me the tools. I hope I know how to use it. Just pick up a pen and write with an open mind. But here come natively play with my mind. I heard a voice, and it said, you are not good enough to be your best. But my heart is open to expressing myself. I don't want to let myself down. This is my dream. To take a piece of me and write something beautiful. An amount that no one sees. Trying not to douth myself. Happiness is not in my vocabulary. I am cursed for all my wrongs. Or do I lie to myself? The voice in my head won't let me grow. So me, my past, and have a battlefield. I am ready for the next chapter in my life. I wonder what this year brought me. I am prepared to get out of my safe zone. Take a chance in life. I am putting myself first without feeling guilty. I am scared to fall. With life, look at me with disappointment. So I have to take a step of faith. Knowing that god has my back if I fall. I promise myself take that chance. Not to worry about what people think. Because if I don't take that chance. I will never be happy. The first person I have to please is myself. No one will understand me. That ok with me. It's time I live the life I want to live. This is my life. This is my time. So I am counting down to better life. Dreams will be made. I won't live in a fantasy world. Life will never be the same because it changes the course. Now it is up to me. So when I get to my birthday, I will take the first step in life. But take a chance when I reach my goals and dream. I can look back and say. I made it with all signs of giving up. But I was true to myself, with fear in my heart. God told me to keep moving forward. Your time is coming. There will knock you down in begin. Just wipe your feet with all these natives. Believe in yourself. The only one you have to please is yourself. Keep count of the day when you were born because you will be that girl who has a dream. Now that you have all grown up. It is time to reach for your goals. You will grow not as a person but as a writer. It's time to let go. Everything stops you. My birthday is coming just like my dreams. It is like a rebirth of myself. Time change me. But now, I am on the right track in life. So when I blow out my candle, believe me, I will make all my dreams come true. Because I am counting the day until I can say I did it on my birthday wish. Because I took a chance on myself.
©cateye1971
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