CUT

Pain is the only constant.
Constant reminder I'm alive.
Pain is the only consistent thing in my life.
I cut myself open to let the pain escape.
My self inflicted wounds are what's real.
Look at my mutilated body.
My scars have become armor.
Armor from this world.
You would never understand.
Nor do I expect you too.
I'm a beautiful liar.
I'm diseased and addicted..
Covered in blood and conflicted.
My poor precious heart.
It broke into pieces long ago.
I can't put it back together.
Standing at the gallows.
I'll pull my own lever.
I'll place that noose around my throat.
My bloodstained diaries they hold the secrets to my pain.
Some might call me damaged.
Some might call me insane.
None the less I'm sitting in a darkened room watching the rain through a blood smeared windowpane.
I know you don't want to hear this.
It's messy and it's wrong.
This is how I find my bliss.
I'm trying to solve a problem I can't fix.
I'm just seeking a release.
Please don't place judgment on me.
My poor precious heart.
It broke into pieces long ago.
I can't put it back together.
Standing at the gallows.
I'll pull my own lever.
I'll place that noose around my throat.
As the razor begins to slice.
I will escape this life.
Hard lessons learned they cut like a knife.
As I begin to bleed.
Pain gushes out of me.
Regrettably I'm still not finding what I need.
©budmac38