i smile
on a stage
my lips rehearsing
7 nights
my arms struggle to keep still
in this velvet black box
i created
i am reaching out
for your breaths
the sounds of you wanting
to be inside of me
you say this is empty
hollowed out
and you lie
naked to my face
behind blue eyes
exploring
the landscape of my wet skin under moonlight
this is more
more than either of us
wants to go to confession for
we bleed sin
secrets
that in the moment do not seem worth
sacrifice on July mornings
my slurred outbursts build walls
you cannot be honest
when i am sewn together
with vows and wrecked promises
imprints of another boy's hands
on my shoulder blades
his name still on the tip of my tongue
that dances across your bare skin
truth is written on my eyelids
i do not blink
your mouth against my ear
preaching in panting respiration
i am not like the names painted on ceilings
or
like those girls who lay tangled in sheets
spread open just to be risen
from the dead
i am you, but in a dress
guiltless
un-nerved by indiscretions
i have tattooed reasons
i should lock myself
from you on the inside of my arm
yet
i cant help fingertips inching into you
your thumb print burning into the nape of my neck
pulse racing
i am capturing everything i am missing
that makes me shallowed because
i gave up years ago on one boy
who i thought invented butterflies.
©sammianne
S