for me there are times where I'm happy and free then it hits me like a ocean wave in a angry sea, it pulls me under and I feel like I can't breathe, I'm shouting but Noone can hear me. my hand is raised asking for help but Noone can tell when you keep it Inside damaging yourself, there's only a few that can tell when I'm trapped on the ocean floor it's like they knock on my door when they see its not me anymore, many have knocked and failed to get me to see that you can swim to the top to be set free. all I can feel is hands all over me begging me to stay, one day I heard a knock with a glimpse of light and a voice telling me to fight but also asking why, it was a question Noones asked before I start thinking as I'm sinking to the ocean floor, memories flood my head of the good times that have been had.....they aren't that bad, so why am I stuck in my own head. the hands slowly retreat the voices lessen I start kicking my feet swimming towards the light, it feels like the biggest fight of my life. I get to the top finally breaking free of the hold the sea had on me I see a familiar face...that embraces me with a hug, I know in that moment the dark sea is done with a feeling of relief. but then the thoughts of losing my light that saved me creep in, I'm scared because they were the only one I let in.
©rebeccaaaa
R