Hey,
dear brain,
why the hell are you doing this to me
right now
i should be happy
so dear brain,why?
just to see me cry for the sixth time this week?
make me feel weak
im just a snowflake,after all
the worst part about being small is that you cant reach anyones attention
being a shadow in detention
and the worst part about being good at faking a smile
is that nobody knows if your actually happy, or if your really torn apart
ill deny it though
you can even sit front row, go ahead and see my best act, and applaud me at my funeral
because i already bled myself to the bone
i just wont commit to my feelings to confuse you
confuse you till you leave me
im still alone despite all the people in this room, so ill assume i can see myself out
my pieces floating into the abyss
because im a fake my feelings friends
hiding from the mirrors
to avoid this ugly picture thats my body
my acne marking all my stress like connect the dots
i think to myself every night when i do my nightly scaring
"where the hell did i go to where i cant feel anything but this gloom?"
so i assume to myself that i deserve this
i subdue my own thoughts, and im selfish
i take myself in a whirl as i paint out this mural
and its a painting of my own internal battle
as I damage myself im taken off the saddle
and i walk the black path
i dont think im gonna last
so i take a drop of paint from my tears and decided to paint my fears
and i paint the colorful remorse of every one i knew walk away in my sleep
and i draw the pitiless feeling of not even trying as nothing will truly keep.
so dear brain,
why cant i dream of sheep
you only give me demons
i just wanna keep my memories
stopping my neverendless loneliness
the fogg clear my vision so i can see my friends smiles
dear brain
just turn off the lights
....
~a.used.human
©ausedhuman
A