I wanna be perfect for you , so you'd look at me and be proud and smile and call me your child, a good and faithful servant who can hold her own.
I wanna go to bed and feel your embrace , your arms around me saying sleep sound my child, I am watching over you , no harm will befall you,
I wanna wake up in the morning and be happy, sincerely happy that I have seen another day , rejoice in my heart for I am sure that the new day will be guided by you
I wanna meet people with different perspectives from mine and not feel ashamed to state it, not feel embarrassed to say I hold a different opinion, to say I think differently, stand my ground you see.
I wanna look deep in my heart and truly say that I love you, love you not because of your power or the things you can give me or do for me but love you for you.
I wanna sit down and smile when I think of how much you gave up for me, your son, your only son. That was a hefty price for a cold heart like mine but you did it anyway , knowing there was a chance that my ice cold heart would reject it, look at the sacrifice with scorn. Yet you went through with it.
I want you my God, I want your ways, your ordinances, your grace, your love , your protection. I am desperate for you but I don't know the how because the why is in my way. I am down on my knees but yet doubtful of my sincerity. Did you not say that man's heart is deceitful above all things? , so now I question my every move because my heart could be pulling a fast one on me.
Do I really want you? Do I really seek you? Do I really love you? Do I really really really know you?.
Confused maybe I am but one thing I know for sure is that the road less travelled leads to you and I did not take it. I did not choose you.
©virtuous
V