mommy I won the race to your eggs my genitals reversed making me female I was excited to see you, I imagined your scent was fresh smelling like the ocean breeze relaxing my mind. I baked inside of you hearing you sing your songs a beautiful voice you have when I felt nervous I listened to your voice you sung lightly I felt protected.
mommy I'm baking to see you I imagined your hugs will be strong, your kiss will spark me, the way you looked at me will be unmatched.
Dear mommy I'm almost here we marked the eleventh month I can't wait no longer I feel you suffering you need me I Have to arrive,
it's finally that time.
Dear mommy what is it? your scent changed the way you looked at me was unimaginable you changed the song you sing your voice got deeper your touch isnt exciting. I felt a hit to my chest what is that mommy? did i do something wrong? I put a amber Alert on your smile, I want a kiss . it's been three decades mommy I need a hug your words followed me I'm unlovable I should have slowed down when I was released dear mommy I ruined your life forgive me I'm useless and selfish I wanted to meet the reflection of me, if I cut my hair can I get a hug? if my pants hung lower carrying pieces of my heart would you be proud? look mommy I'm masculine I shout when someone approaches me I push away love I'm walking alone can I get a song mommy?
I won't cry no more mom I know it's annoying keep my smile mommy can I borrow yours?
how dare I have trauma those sleepless nights , hunger and heartbreak fought for my attention I'm showing affection again please don't leave me mommy ill end this poem.
©carlee
C