I've been watching the skies for more than an hour
Today, however, I had no reason to smile
Thinking I'll be this broken again next year if by chance I make it through
Depression and anxiety will still be part of me
It's yet another Christmas soon celebrating the birth of Christ Saviour
Still can't seem to be controlling the voices screaming at the back of my head
I hope by now I could have done it
My brain still hurts without my pills
Maybe this pills will still be part of me
Cos I definitely feel it is a part of me
And it's been part of me, I really can't change it it's time I embrace me
And it's time y'all accept it
It's been hard fighting this thoughts
Everyday facing a new battle, Battles I just can't seem to be winning
So many times, I've gone suicidal, and that's a sad confession I thought couldn't ever make
Maybe these are not mine decisions but the voices in my head take control
Hopefully I'll be ok real ok
Maybe I'm still on an adventure
But why can't I just be taken out of this war with the past
Why's it that when I win the battle of the past, it brings along the present and the future, I guess I should just give up this fight
There's light at the end of the tunnel that's what she normally say, Deep inside she's hurting just because of me,
I just can't seem to find this light, maybe I should light mine own
Maybe I should, or is it time to face my demons
Should I be ready and fight back and be firm
And If it so then,
Dear God as next year's dawn early lights break
May I not be this broken
May I not be stuck in the middle of my darkness
And may I not live in my brain and in my thoughts
©fahdfyad
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