When I say I cannot believe what I did, please believe me,
For I walked down that rabbit hole without thinking once,
I kept going , loving the thrill, the danger and the constant anguish,
Only thing on my mind was what I would do when I got to the point of no return.
When I say I cannot believe what I did , please believe me,
For when I got home that night , packed my clothes, I was at the end of me,
When I told her I did not need her anymore and to him how I hated him for shaping who I was,
When I slammed the door behind me and left them in the excruciating pain of a child gone rogue, all I wanted was closure
When I say I cannot believe what I did, please believe me,
For when I opened that bottle and drank myself silly , all I wanted was to drown the pain,
But I woke up thirsting for more and now they call me an alcoholic...huh!...whoever came up with that.
When I say I cannot believe what I did, please believe me,
For when I called you last night and said I needed to talk , I lied,
To kill your faith was my one desire,
I knew your weaknesses and I could do it in 15 different ways and you wouldn't see it coming.
When I say I cannot believe what I did, please believe me,
For my belief died when I put my signature on that paper, When I sold my soul to the world, when I walked out that door , when I felt the darkness embrace me,
I knew there was no going back, it was done
When I say I cannot believe what I did, please believe me,
For as my pen tries to express my sorrow, as it tries to portray how regrettable these actions were, it realizes how scarce forgiveness is , the best we can do is sit and write about what we have done.
©virtuous
V