"depressed"

I’m all choked up what’d you expect me to say, I’m living with this depression and my life is constantly teaching me a lesson, focusing on all the traumatic shit from the past, wondering why nothing good in the future lasts, cause I’m still stuck in the past,
As much as it hurts, I’m sick of the pain, sick of the shame, sick of feeling like dying, spending my days crying, wondering why I’m here,
I know I’m gonna figure it out someday and maybe everything will be okay, but I wish I was alone in my own home, but I have no place of my own and know I wouldn’t make it, gotta have someone by my side, someone on my mind so I don’t self harm, gotta think of other people before myself and put their needs above my own.
Trying to find a reason to stay,
I know I’m gonna get there some day,
Gotta keep holding on strong,
Cause I still haven’t found my purpose to this world, I’m not finished yet and I haven’t lived the dream,
Gotta stand my ground and scream,
and if my own life wants to fuck me then no one dies a virgin, cause we all get fucked in ways that don’t end in orgasms.
©br0k3ngirl