I hear feelings are important,
They are purportedly what makes us human,
Well yeah , I agree with the claims,
But again, when the feelings are almost killing you,
What do we call that?
Does that make us human or break the humanity in us?
I can't seem to understand that,
'Cause this feeling in me is killing me,
Or rather almost assassinating me,
I am hurting deep inside,
I am I just making all this up?
No..i can feel it,
Aren't feelings supposed to be felt?
I feel like a part of me is dead and in the ground,
Am walking numb,
I have taken all that i can take,
I have reached to the extreme end. Stretched until i have lost my elasticity,
I just can't handle it anymore,
I need to shake off this feeling,
I wish i could just go back in the womb and escape in a whole new world,
How did I end up choosing this world?
Wait a minute,
Maybe I didn't,
Maybe i was forced here,
Not by you or them but by fate,
'Cause this is definitely not my place,
What can i do about it?
Absolutely nothing. Too bad.
Can’t someone stretch the hand to me?
I need to get me out of this dark hole
Just a hand,
'Cause am impatiently waiting down here,
Can’t someone join me here?
To at least bear witness of the happenings down here,
Not even an attentive ear,
To hear my cries,
'Cause the hollow deepens daily,
And my voice weakens daily,
I can't even carry my feet anymore,
They are dragging,
And unfortunately taking me with them,
I want to resist but i can't. I just can't,
What purpose do I have to serve in this life anyway?
Have i been here with a mission to save myself from myself all along?
Why have i wasted too much time and resources,
How could i forget all the energy i have invested in this life,
I want to have a home again. Some peace of mind,
I need to renew my existence,
How i wish i could achieve more. Touch lives,
Am I living a two in one life?
The wishing being and the doing being,
Is this feeling bringing the human in me or breaking the human within?
Or none of the above?
Who knows where am headed,
Someone, rescue me before i drown in this darkness.
©awanjo
A