Double life

Double life

I walk the line,

A shadowed soul

that seemed to shine.

By day, I blend,

I hide my scars,

But looking deeper you would find,

A life of secrets,

Engulfed in shards,

I rise with dawn,

my mask in place,

A polished smile,

a calm facade.

In meetings, tasks, and daily grind,

They see success,

but never find.

The crystal's grip,

a hidden truth,

Trading fleeting highs

For a stolen youth.

It fuels my nights,

it drives my days,

A cycle spun

in crystals haze.

My hands are steady,

words are clear,

I keep the whispers

far from near.

They see my strength,

My poised control,

But never glimpse

My fractured soul.

In moments quiet,

Thy shadows creep,

A restless mind

that cannot sleep.

I chase the dragon,

Through endless tunnels,

dark as night,

Running into troubles.

Behind closed doors,

the cracks appear,

A fragile heart

consumed by fear.

I know the cost,

I see the price,

Yet in its grip,

I roll the dice.

Functional, they say,

but deeply flawed,

A puppet to a silent god.

Each day I balance on a thread,

A life half-lived,

a mind half-dead.

For in the mirror,

truth stares back,

A haunted gaze,

My soul off track.

I wear the mask,

I play the part,

Yet feel the crystal

tear me apart.

My body is tired,

My heart is over worked,

My mind, rewired

My soul, is hurt

I'm sorry to everyone

Who really cared,

The Ones I painted

in my head

To be the ones who hurt me

But it's I, instead.

I hurt myself

Just to get high

But was it worth it now?

After finding out it's me,

I'm the one who lied.

You see,

I think I have it all together,

But in reality,

I don't even know what thats like

I've been high for years,

And every day feels like forever

When you're consumed by your own fears.

I found out that its actually hard for me to tell the truth,

I never understood at the time, the meaning of stolen youth

Until I was no longer young,

But now I'm giving up

That illusion of fun, a half filled cup

So that I can be a mom, and a grown up

I don't have much time left,

But that's something that from them

You won't take from.

You have taken too much from everyone

I knew this day would come.

Crystal,

I never thought I'd be able to say this

But you and me