The news is here.
And excitement fills the room.
Even though I share your excitement
I can’t help but to crumble even lower.
Sometimes they take it for granted.
To have the gift of life.
Each time a new announcement arrives
My heart suffers another crack
Breaking it down even more.
Day to day I suffer extreme pains with no relief in sight.
Hospital trips, to break the pain.
Everyday I suffer with nausea, just because.
It’s a reminder of the cards I’ve been dealt.
Having this gift is not impossible, just very unlikely
So, what is a girl suppose to do?
Pretend like It doesn’t bother me?
Sit and smile?
I listen to your story; I celebrate your news and laugh.
But when I go home another tear falls.
Envious. Resentful. Shame
That’s how I feel.
Does it make me a bad person?
To want what you have.
To be jealous of the one thing I can’t do.
To cringe every birthday knowing my window is even smaller than most.
My hope is fading.
©ourreality
O