sometime I feel the only way out is death
my only chance to get some rest
I can't tell if it's my heart or my mind racing
I want to make it stop but it never does
I get high to numb it but it all rushes back as soon a I sober up
sometimes I can't help but go numb
it's the only time the voices get quiet, the constant screaming in my head isn't so loud and I finally feel at ease
why does this pain haunt me? why me?
what could I have done to deserve it?
some nights when the screams get load I can't tell if I'm the one screaming or not
I just want to escape, but everywhere I go the pain and fear fallow me
the faster I run the more pain I feel
they say you can't run from it but what else can you do when you feel like your being chased by your own demons
you can't just stay in one place, if you do the darkness closes in
sometimes I wonder if my eyes are actually bad it if the pitch black in my soul is making me blind
they say if you kill yourself you go tell hell but he'll is supposed to be hot, I wonder if it's hot enough the warm me
even on the hottest days I'm still freezing so maybe hells heat will finally give me the warmth I long for
I'm already to far gone and I know heavens gate are out of my reach so why fight it
I beg god to help me see the light but I get no answer, only the screams can be heard
I hope that when I die I will at least be less of a berdin on everyone, if I can't do any good while I'm alive I hope my death will do some good but if I die for nothing then it won't be much worse than being alive
I am an organ donor after all, I just don't know if that's a good thing or not
will my organs help someone or will my heart be just as cold in another body?
I guess only God can answer that but I know he wont
©deadly
D