On nights like this
I find it harder to breathe
The more the numbness spreads
The more I find I seethe
My rotten core exposed
I find it easier not to feel
When everything feels like nothing
The nothingness seems so real
I find myself fading into the blackness
If I feel close to anything, its death
I find less and less to fight for
Including my next breath
My demons are coming out to play
And trust me, they play to win
I once was something original
Now all that's left is original sin
Norepinephrine and serotonin once flowed
Now halted in their tracks
The numbness comes full circle
Exposing everything I lack
The scars remind me of where I've been
And I'm unsure of where I'm heading
I kno its nowhere worth being
It's something that I'm dreading
I've been here before you kno
Cold steel in my hands
Beseeching me to cut again
Almost as if its something it demands
I succumb once more
My most evil delight
I close my eyes one last time
And surrender the fight
Hot blood flows over cold steel
Bare veins for the world to see
This final act of defiance
Will be what sets me free
The numbness has spread so far
I cannot feel my life leaving me
Is this really what it had to take
For any of you to see?
I'll lay here in a puddle
Of what once sustained my existence
An afterthought of your carelessness
My final defiant resistance
Goodbye young world
I was too much an old soul to be sustained
As they prepare me for my final resting
You see all that remained
The shell of the girl I used to be
My corpse finally showing what's within
The numbness entombed in my lifeless body
Here it finally wins
Don't pretend to cry for me
And say "If only I had known"
Truth is you knew but didn't care
And now you "cry & moan"
This is what your carelessness cost
This is the final price to pay
So you can pretend to mourn me
While I finally fade away
R