After 50 odd years I am finally refusing
to continue to live the ordinary life
with its destructive standards of all
of those who have always told me how
to live and who I was and how I’ve
always been a failure at living that life.
After 50 odd years I am finally going
to make the most out of everything
that comes my way without a care
for the number and type of obstacles
that I may have to encounter along
the way to where I really want to be.
After 50 odd years I am finally learning
about what it means to be me and to
appreciate everything that I can do while
accepting my own personal beliefs rather
then those beliefs of others that would
leave me questioning my own worth.
After 50 odd years I am finally falling
in love with my partner again and
realizing how much she had loved
me despite my failing her over and
over again as I struggled to be what
I was never actually meant to be.
After 50 odd years I can finally begin
my life all over again and be the
artist, the poet, the creator who I’ve
hoped to be but could never achieve
while I lived according to the beliefs
of others who never truly knew me.
After 50 odd years I’m finally LIVIN.
©ronvdm777
Nov 2019
©ronvdm777
R