Naked and ashamed.
Everyone can see me for what I am.
My past mistakes, my past loves.
Who I've fucked and who I haven't.
All my regrets and choices are out for everyone to see.
What am I to do?
How will my piers decide my fate?
Will they still see me as this nice person that I hope the see me as?
Or will they see me for the monster I believe I am?
Standing here naked for all to judge my body.
I feel like an animal in the zoo on show for everyone to see.
The people sticking their faces against the glass getting as close of a look as the can.
Judging me, and everything about me.
What am I going to do?
As afraid and ashamed as I am, I feel a sense of empowerment.
Naked for all to see.
Am I wrong to feel this way?
The idea of being naked in front of people used to scared me.
But now I'm comfortable.
Is it wrong of me?
I have had many lovers.
And I've had many people I used just for sex.
Many were amazing and made me feel sexy.
Others made me feel like it was just a pity fuck.
I think about all the men and women that I have had feelings for.
Should I have said something, or would it have ruined what I had with them?
Other have shown interest at the time and I never took the chance.
Is it wrong of me to wonder?
There is one man in particular that crosses my mind quite frequently.
He told me there was a time he wished something had happened between us.
Am I wrong to think things could have been wonderful between me and him?
We are friends now but every once and a while I think, could we have been more?
We have clicked on so many levels.
Am I wrong to sometimes want to say something still today?
After so many years?
Many people I have led on, knowing full well that I would never do anything with them.
Only doing what I did to get what I want.
Attention
I loved the attention.
Always feeling like I'm wanted.
It's what I needed.
I loved the men crawling on their knees for more.
Wanting just a tiny little taste of something they could never have.
Seeing them beg for me was almost orgasmic.
I got wet with the thought of making them crazy for me.
I regret some of them.
But I most of them I got what I needed from them, then would drop them like nothing.
The power of having them wrapped around my little finger was so appetizing.
Sometimes I still want to do.
The high I would get from it was the greatest thing ever
The confidence I had in myself was through the roof.
I crave it still.
Now a days I turn people down and I feel like such a hypocrite to what I had used to be
People show me that affection and I shut them down no second thought.
Seen as a prude.
No confidence in myself ever.
I dont find myself attractive like I once did
As much I want to get them to do what I want I can't.
My self esteem isnt what it used to be.
I want to feel like I have that power.
People say I'm beautiful and I say there is only one thing they want and stop talking to them
What happened to that empowered woman?
I have lost my way.
Standing here naked, for all to see has made her stir.
Everyone watching me.
Looking at me in all my shame.
But is it truly shame?
LOOK AT ME NOW!
SEE MY BEAUTY!
GET LOST IN THE THOUGHT OF HAVING ME!
LET ME WRAP YOU AROUND MY FINGER!
DO MY BIDING!
AM I WHAT YOU THOUGHT I WAS?
OR AM I TRULY THE MONSTER I HIDE BEHIND THIS MASK?
©echo
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