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Found a journal in the bin

Found a journal in the bin


Found a journal in the bin 
bejewelled with minute particles of dust
making it look too old,
my fingers dusted the cover 
whilst my mind behested me to open,
the letters on the first page 
were smudged by the tearstains,
curiosity and fear that I carried 
made me carry it home.

I flipped through those fragile pages 
only to find it was half written, 
and the last page had blood stains 
soon the stains disappeared 
as my tears dropped slowly 
as I read those words 
"Alas! This idle life feels heavy,
and the regret of dwelling in comfort
now chokes me. Will it all end
 if my life ends?".

My trembling hands painfully 
opened the very first page 
to witness the now fresh-looking page
with the words stating that
If my idleness kills my dream
the soul of my dream
would kill my soul, help me, 
and the last word was my name.

The time that I always killed
has always presented to me
a chance to live.