This is what I feel like all the time.
Like I am choking on something,I can't breathe,
Like I am falling into a deep dark hole, yet I never hit the ground.
I just keep falling.
Around me I hear people talking, I see people living, I watch life go by.
But me?,..
I am not living, I just exist.
I just fall and this numbing feeling inside me just gets worse.
I can't cry, I can't smile, I can't feel anymore.
I wish it would end, but it just never does.
You ask why I didn't tell you?
How do I talk when I have no words?
How do I explain my feelings, when I haven't any left?
How do I tell you what is going on inside me, when I have no idea myself?
Instead I come off heartless, cold, distant, angry, blunt..Like I do not care about anything or anyone.
Everyone around me says that I am strong, I can handle anything, I am mean, I only care about myself, I have to get over it, It can't be that bad.
All I hear is " We do not care , life goes on".
That may be true, Life does go on.
For you..
Not me..
I stay where I am...
Stuck in this deep dark hole..
Free falling endlessly to nothingness.
©lollasmith
L